Writer's Workshop: Things I Miss about life before Mamahood

Let me preface this by saying that I love being a Mom.

I love my daughter with my whole heart and soul and would not change a single thing as far as she is concerned.

But . . .

There are a few things that I miss about life before mama-hood.

1. I miss being able to go to the bathroom by myself.  I thought it was bad when she was little but I swear it has gotten worse as she has gotten older. I have to lock the door to be able to pee in peace. That's just not right.
2. I miss being able to eat the food on my plate without out having someone (Ahem, Kaylee) wanting a bite of whatever is on my plate. And this happens constantly. Even if she has already eaten something, I must share with her.
3. I miss being able to spontaneously up and go.  Once you have kids going anywhere requires lots of planning. And if you are going somewhere kids can't go, then you have even more planning to do.
4. I miss having alone time. And I mean having more than thirty minutes to myself. I want a few hours. To myself. All alone.
5. I miss having lazy days. It seems like once you have kids you are always on the go. To the doctor. To school. To soccer/baseball/football/softball or some other sporting/extra curricular event. 

I'm sure I could sit here and come up with a list longer than this but these are the things that stand out to me.  These are the things that I miss the most about life before motherhood.

What about you, what do you miss?

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Linking up with Mama Kat and her Pretty much WORLD FAMOUS Writer's Workshop.

I chose prompt #5: Share something you miss from before you were a mom.

Check it out, choose a prompt and link up yourself!

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Parenting Fail

I don't remember ever reading or being told that parenting is easy.

So let's just put that to bed right this second.

Parenting is hard.

Really freaking hard.

There are no manuals.  I don't care how many books you read while you were pregnant.  None of them explain to you how hard parenting is really going to be.

You never dream, not even for an instant, how much your life is going to change as you are pushing your baby through your vagina (or having your baby pulled from your uterus if you had a C-section).

With all this being said, my daughter is ten.

And everyday she makes me feel like I am failing as a mother.  Everyday.

I am always not doing something right.

I will tell you this, I am extremely lenient.  Extremely.

I let her play outside with her friends.  I let her ride her bike around the block.

I let her do most of the things that I wasn't allowed to do at her age.

I was restricted to playing in the back yard.  


I wasn't allowed to go to any of my friend's houses to play.


I could only ride my bike in the driveway.

So I have tried to let her have a little bit of freedom.  I have tried to just let her be a kid.

The biggest issue we are having is bedtime.

Another thing we have been lenient on.

During school through the week bedtime is nine o'clock.  And on the weekends (Friday and Saturday) she gets to stay up until 11.

So far this summer, the earliest she has made it to bed has been midnight.  Sometimes she stays up even later than that.

I know I am being judged right now.  I know it.

You probably think I am some horrible mother for not adhering to a strict bedtime.

You are thinking to yourself, "YOU are the cause of your bedtime issue so you need to quit bitching about it."

It's OK.  You can judge.  I am woman enough to handle it.

Really.

It's not the actual bedtime that is bothering me.  It's the attitude that is given when she is told that it's time to go to bed.

It doesn't matter what time it is.  She whines and moans.

She equates staying up late to being an adult.

And I don't know what to do.

I am at the end of my parenting rope.

Screaming and yelling do nothing.

Sitting and talking does nothing.

I am at a loss.

I need help.

I've learned in ten years that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

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You Signed It!

Hello second day of 2012!

Why are you being an ass already?

WHY?

Why did Kaylee not sleep well last night?  Because the in-laws kept her up taking the Christmas decorations down.  That's why.

Why did Kaylee have a total breakdown this morning before heading off to school?  Because she didn't sleep well last night.

This was the conversation this morning as she tore through her backpack:

Oh my gosh!  Where is it?

Where is what, babe?

That weekly progress report that I bring home at the end of the week and you have to sign and I have to bring back on the next day of school.

Babe?  You didn't have one of those papers.

YES I DID.

No you. . .

YES I DID.  I HANDED IT TO YOU AND YOU SIGNED IT!

Sweetie. . .  You did not bring home one of those papers.

YES I DID.  I gave it to you and you signed it and then YOU LOST IT and now I'm not going to have recess because of it.  You have to write me a note.

She has emptied her backpack of all its contents and they are strewn about her bed.  She is going through each paper one by one.  And she is crying.

Kaylee, you did not show me one of those papers.  I did not sign anything.  Your backpack has been hanging up since you got home on the last day of school.

MAMA! I GAVE YOU THE PAPER AND YOU SIGNED IT!  YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER.  YOU HAVE TO.

Babe?!  YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A PAPER!  I DIDN'T SIGN ANYTHING.

YES I DID!  YOU SIGNED IT AND THEN YOU LOST IT!

I am at my boiling point now.  We have yelled at each other so much and so loudly that we have awakened the sleeping bear. AKA Randall.

Kaylee, hysterically crying, goes running to her Daddy trying to make him remember this paper and me losing it.

He tries to calm her down.  She explains that she is certain that she gave me this paper and that I signed it and that it then got lost.  She explains that if she doesn't have this paper her teacher will punish her by taking away her recess and she doesn't want to lose her recess on the first day back.

Randall tells her that we will write a note.  And by we?  He means me.

Annoying.

I immediately say that I am not writing a note for a nonexistent paper.

Randall gets mad at me because by this point I am pretty much acting like a child.  

Kaylee and I play a couple more rounds of the Blame Game and then I reluctantly cave and write the stupid note.  I explain that we did SEE this paper (we didn't) but that it got misplaced and to please not take any disciplinary action on Kaylee and that if there were any questions for him to please call us.

Except the note wasn't one big run-on sentence.  Or it could have been.  I'm not even really sure my handwriting was legible.

Why she waited until this morning to look for this paper I have no clue.  But somehow this will end up being my fault.  Because, you know, I'm supposed to keep her backpack organized.

People?  As I write this it is almost 10am.  Kaylee has been at school for two hours.  As of yet there have been no calls.

I guess we will see what happens at lunch time.

Sigh.

What a great way to start off the week.  Right?

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Have You Seen It?

After running behind last week, I am making up for it this week.

Read that as I am writing it Monday night.  Because I am all organized and stuff.  


Yeah.  You're not really buying that, are you?


Didn't think so.  But I am writing this Monday night.  So there's that.

Ready for the Tuesday norm?

Here we go:


10.  Looks like the rainy season has started.  You will probably think I am weird, but I like the rain.  So I am actually kinda happy.

9.  I have started clipping coupons.  Randall thinks I am a little nuts.  I think he is scared that I am gonna go all 'Extreme Couponer' on him.

8.  I don't want to be like that.  I just want to save a money on the groceries we buy every month.

7.  With printing out coupons, I am trying to be organized about it.  So I have a folder that holds my papers that I have printed out.  We will see how long this system lasts.

6.  Yeah.  Not really a system.  How about. . .  We'll see how long I will actually print out the coupons and remember to use them, lasts.

5.  Anyone wanna place some bets?

Takers?

Anyone?

*crickets*

Didn't think so.

4.  I have semi-organized my computer desk.  I stress semi-organized.  Because I don't think I have ever truly been organized.

3.  I love being a parent.  There are just some days that it exhausts me more than others.

2.  Like tonight.  Please don't make me ask you to do the same thing more than once.

Please don't make mama feel like she's going crazy.

1.  Hmm.  Too late.  Pretty sure I lost my sanity years ago.

I'm looking for my sanity.  Have you seen it?

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