It is really late Sunday night.
Or very early Monday morning. Depends on how you look at it, I guess.
My FIL had to take Randall to the ER tonight. {I choose Sunday night since I haven't been to bed yet.}
I may have been very unsympathetic towards him and how he was feeling.
Please don't judge me. Randall has had gastroparesis for almost 3 years now. I spent the first year and a half a worried, compassionate mess. I finally learned the best way to get him to the hospital was to be stern with him. Otherwise I would probably be close to insanity by now.
I may have yelled at him when he was feeling the worst.
I may have told him that I didn't want to go to the hospital with him.
I think we can all agree that I was being a bitch.
The thing is, if you have not been through one of Randall's sick episodes? You have no clue how traumatic they are for everyone.
He runs to the bathroom and vomits. . . Kaylee starts to cry.
He comes into the bedroom mutters an "I'm OK." and falls into bed. He complains about the pain he is in and complains about the nausea. Five minutes later he is running back to the bathroom. Kaylee starts to cry again.
I tell her to not cry. I tell her that we have been through this several times before. I tell her that she knows Daddy isn't well and that sometimes his tummy doesn't act right.
I get her calmed down in time for Randall to come out of the bathroom, looking like shit warmed over.
I start out asking him if he wants to go to the hospital. His answer is always "NO".
I have enough time to say the words "I really think you should go" and he is off to the bathroom again.
His puking sessions are violent and loud.
Kaylee starts to cry.
By this point I am irritated. This is where I lose any and all compassion.
I become downright mean.
I yell at Randall. I yell at Kaylee.
To my amazement Randall says he will go to the hospital. He asks his Dad to take him. {Because honestly, I am being a bitch at this point. I wouldn't want me going either.}
Which brings me to where I am now. Sitting here and waiting to hear something from my FIL from the hospital.
Having had some time to look back on my reaction? I feel pretty bad.
But if I wouldn't have been mean, he would still be here running back and forth to the bathroom until he would be so weak that he couldn't move then forcing us to call an ambulance and listen to them hem and haw as to whether they should take him to the hospital or not thus causing me to turn into super-bitch and demand that he be taken to the hospital because there is nothing that I can do for him here, when he gets sick like that he can't hold anything down not even water so how would you expect me to get him to take his PILLS?
So, while I feel bad about being a bitch, I don't because I know that my bitchiness made Randall go to the hospital before he got really, really bad.
Less stress on everyone.
Well except maybe the FIL who is stuck sitting in the hospital room with Randall.
That's an experience in and of itself too.
Please keep Randall in your thoughts and prayers. Send him good mojo and positive vibes. Toss some in there for me too, wouldja?
