Maybe it's the weather.
It has been dark and grey for a few days.
Maybe it's the events of the last week that have left me wanting to pull my hair out. (I would elaborate but I just can't right now.)
Whatever it is, I am feeling down.
I am sad.
I am lonely.
Maybe it's because it's Christmas time and my heart just isn't in it this year.
Maybe I am missing my family.
I wish like nothing else that I could secretly get to Ohio and surprise my Mom.
Even though she guilts me and makes me feel bad, I miss her.
I have not seen her in four years. And I don't know how much longer she's going to be around.
That? The not knowing? Is killing me.
I may not ever be able to get back and see her.
That breaks my heart.
I am broken and drifting in a melancholy mess.