For years I have known.
It has taken me this long to finally accept that my family is dysfunctional.
You know my relationship is strained with my sister. I have shared that pain with you.
It is worse with my brother.
It doesn't help that my Mom is sick. She almost died three years ago from pneumonia, congestive heart failure and COPD.
It doesn't help that I am so far away. I can not do anything from here. There is no way for me to help.
It pisses me off to find out four days after the fact that my siblings feel that Mom should have maybe went to the hospital but didn't take her because they felt doing so would upset her and make her worse.
It pisses me off that no one called {so what if you didn't have our new number. there are ways of getting it.}.
It pisses me off that no one EMAILED me that night or the next day.
It pisses me off that I am told through a message on Facebook.
Yes, I replied back.
Yes, it was very hard for me to be civil.
It pisses me off that, my brother was so nonchalant about it when I called him Wednesday evening. He is of the opinion that there is nothing else that can be done. Why make Mom angry by forcing her to go to the hospital? She has an appointment on the 17th. It basically felt like he could have cared fucking less.
It hurts me that my brother acted more bothered by the fact that I called him than he did about Mom being sick.
It hurts me that my brother probably didn't save the phone number even after I told him to.
It hurts me that I am an afterthought.
It hurts me that he thinks so little of me that he didn't even know that I replied to his Facebook message.
All of this? Is why I haven't been around much. This is the bullshit I am dealing with.
I am worried about my Mom.
I don't think she will be around much longer.
I am trying to wrap my head around that.
