I don't remember ever reading or being told that parenting is easy.
So let's just put that to bed right this second.
Parenting is hard.
Really freaking hard.
There are no manuals. I don't care how many books you read while you were pregnant. None of them explain to you how hard parenting is really going to be.
You never dream, not even for an instant, how much your life is going to change as you are pushing your baby through your vagina (or having your baby pulled from your uterus if you had a C-section).
With all this being said, my daughter is ten.
And everyday she makes me feel like I am failing as a mother. Everyday.
I am always not doing something right.
I will tell you this, I am extremely lenient. Extremely.
I let her play outside with her friends. I let her ride her bike around the block.
I let her do most of the things that I wasn't allowed to do at her age.
I was restricted to playing in the back yard.
I wasn't allowed to go to any of my friend's houses to play.
I could only ride my bike in the driveway.
So I have tried to let her have a little bit of freedom. I have tried to just let her be a kid.
The biggest issue we are having is bedtime.
Another thing we have been lenient on.
During school through the week bedtime is nine o'clock. And on the weekends (Friday and Saturday) she gets to stay up until 11.
So far this summer, the earliest she has made it to bed has been midnight. Sometimes she stays up even later than that.
I know I am being judged right now. I know it.
You probably think I am some horrible mother for not adhering to a strict bedtime.
You are thinking to yourself, "YOU are the cause of your bedtime issue so you need to quit bitching about it."
It's OK. You can judge. I am woman enough to handle it.
It's not the actual bedtime that is bothering me. It's the attitude that is given when she is told that it's time to go to bed.
It doesn't matter what time it is. She whines and moans.
She equates staying up late to being an adult.
And I don't know what to do.
I am at the end of my parenting rope.
Screaming and yelling do nothing.
Sitting and talking does nothing.
I am at a loss.
I need help.
I've learned in ten years that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world.