Double Your Pleasure

I don't know what I did to be so deserving.

Really.

But I have been lucky enough to receive two beautiful awards.

OK. . .  One is a little on the sarcastic side.  But that's alright.  I will take it anyway!

Hee hee!

The first award was given to me by Roxanne at Unintentionally Brilliant.


Beautiful, isn't it?

This little beauty was created by Jill at Yeah.  Good Times.  Isn't she just full of sarcasm?  Love it.

Gotta love the little kitten that appears to be dancing in confetti or jelly beans or maybe even gumballs!  I am not entirely sure.

As with all awards, there are rules that come along with accepting it.  Here they are:


1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here. If you need a higher resolution version... I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, we're not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things.


Here are five things about me.  And I will never tell which one is the truth.  Heh.

1.  I have really been married six times before.  All my husbands before Randall?  Have mysteriously died.

2.  I was once in the witness protection program.  

3.  When I was 18 I almost joined the Army.  I really wanted to travel the world.

4.  I am fluent in 10 different languages.  Including French, German, Spanish, Russian and Chinese.

5.  I have spent time in every state except Alaska and Hawaii.


And the five lucky souls that I am passing this on to?

Crystal @ Phases of Me



Lisa @ KSSNNIKKEL

Amy Lynn @ PBJ Dreamer 


People?  You are welcome.

But wait.  I said I received TWO lovely awards, didn't I?

Yes.  I did.

The second award was given to me by Crystal at Phases of Me.


Isn't this just the best award ever?

Just like the award before this one, there are rules to accepting it.  They are:

Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.

Share 7 Things About Yourself

Pass this award on to 15 recently discovered blogs


Seven things about me:

1.  Even though I am trying very hard to quit, I still bite my nails.

2.  I never went to college and that is something that I regret every single day.

3.  When I am walking up or down stairs?  I silently count them in my head.

4.  I am the youngest of three children.  My brother is sixteen years older than me.  My sister is fourteen and a half years older than me.  I am fairly sure that I was an "uh-oh" pregnancy.  

5.  I worked at McDonald's almost 10 years.  No, I was never privileged enough to meet Ronald. 

6.  When I was pre-teen?  I wanted to be a comedian.  Sadly, I am not that funny.  I am only funny 'in the moment'.  I can not write funny to save my soul.

7.  I used to want to be a radio DJ.  I called in to radio stations all the time and made several DJ friends.  They all told me not to waste my time.  I started broadcasting school and quit because I decided the actual school was a waste of time.  This school had one course that taught you the ins and outs of EVERYTHING.  In radio AND TV.  You couldn't opt out.  And I thought that was stupid.  If I was there to learn the radio business, what good would learning how to work a camera do me?


And now to pass it on:



















WHEW!

Seriously?  That's a LOT of linking I did there.

I am full of awesome.

As are the awards.

Enjoy people.  Enjoy.





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My Ponderings

2011 can suck it. (2) 4th Grade (1) 9/11 (1) A decade feels like forever but it is only a drop in the bucket of life. (1) A picture is worth a thousand words. (1) abortion (1) Acknowledge and let go. (1) And then my head exploded. (1) Arguing doesn't solve anything (1) awkward (1) Awkwardness (1) Back to School (3) Bad decisions (1) Being sick sucks. (2) Beyond the Cracks (1) birthday (4) Cancer can SUCK IT. (1) Cancer sucks for animals as well as humans. (1) Change is what you make it. (1) Choices (2) Consensus on twitter? I am not alone in my feelings. Heh. (1) craziness (2) Daddy (5) Daddy passed away from lung cancer 2 years later. (1) Decisions (3) diabetes (4) distractions (1) Double Digits (1) Dreams (1) Driver2 really does have a crush on me. (1) duct tape crafts (1) Dysfunctional families (1) Embarrassed (1) Emotional scars heal but they still leave behind pain. (1) Facebook has let me down. (1) family (40) Farts are funny (2) fiction (1) Fireworks are AWESOME (1) Friendships Lost (1) Fuck you very much (1) funny (18) gastroparesis (13) Getting my days mixed up means I'm getting old. PFFFFFT. Whatever. (1) growing up (10) Guest Posting (2) Happy Birthday Daddy. (1) Happy Birthday Kaylee (1) HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY (2) healing (1) Heart attacks are no joke. (1) heart health (2) Hidden away in a journal (1) holidays (6) hookers (1) hospital (12) humor (3) I am not a Freaking FAIRY (1) I am the female version of Weird Al. (1) I did not feel this way being pregnant with Kaylee. (1) I don't like being mean but sometimes it's necessary. (1) I feel close to my sister again. (1) I get a kick out of irritating people. (1) I giggle at inappropriateness (1) I hate being accused of something I didn't do. (1) I hate when the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. (1) I have only been drunk once and No I didn't eat before hand. It wasn't pretty. (1) I just want to PEE IN PEACE. Is that so wrong? (1) I know I am WAY TOO LENIENT. I KNOW. (1) I like making things out of duct tape. (1) I look forward to June (1) I love my family more than words can express. (1) I love Randall more than words (2) I love twitter. (2) I married the man in this story on September 11th 1996. (1) I miss my sister (1) I need him as much if not more than what he needs me. (1) I realize now just how badly things COULD have turned out. Didn't think about it then. (1) I really wouldn't grab my doctors balls. But it's funny to think about. Isn't it? (1) I said 'fuck' a lot. Sorry. (1) I was a good girl once. Really. (1) I will not be treated like my opinion doesn't count ANYMORE (1) I will not win Parent of the Year for 2012. That's for sure. (1) I wish I had the guts to say all of this to my Mom. (1) I would never duct tape the kid but I HAVE thought about it. Heh. (1) I would rather be pissed off than pissed on. Hee hee. (1) If I'm my own rock does that make me Bipolar? NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE (1) If only life were as easy as it is in movies. (1) In my head (1) In the Moment (1) Insomnia sucks (4) irritation (2) It's no fun being in the ER (1) Jealousy (1) Karma (1) kaylee (49) Kaylee was conceived BECAUSE of 9/11. (1) Kaylee will always be my baby no matter how old she is. (1) Less Than (1) Let me be. (1) life (120) Listen up 2012. . . I will have none of this suckass-ness already. (1) Living life in the PNW. (1) Living unfiltered (1) living with diabetes (3) Looking for my sanity. Have you seen it? (1) Looking for my voice. Have you seen it? (1) Losing a parent when you are nine is hard. (1) love (22) M'mmm FOOD. (1) May 10 2012 (1) me (17) memories (19) mental abuse (1) miscarriage (1) Mom (4) Mom of the year here I come. (2) MOM? I'M BOOORRRREEEDDD. (2) Motherhood (2) Mt. Rainier (1) My doctor? Also put me on a prenatal vitamin. I am not preggy. He said it's good for me. He might be nuts. (1) My feelings get hurt often. (1) My organizational skills are lacking. (2) Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge (1) No compassion (1) Not sure what caused the pain. Wonder if it was just stress? (1) Oh the places I'd go. (1) Only a Daydream (1) Organized Chaos (1) Pain in the Chest (1) Parenting (4) Parenting Fail (1) Parenting is hard yo. (1) pondering (6) pour your heart out (10) prayer (4) pregnancy (1) Pretty sure the snooze button is the devil. (1) Questions from Kris (2) Quiet morning time is quite enjoyable. (1) ramble (7) Randall (46) random (18) Randomness from Me :) (32) Release The Krackens (1) remembrance (2) Respect (1) routines (1) sad (6) Sad and Romantic (1) sadness (3) Salmon is still pink no matter what any man says (1) Save the Drama for your Mama. (1) secondary adrenal insufficiency (3) Secret guilty pleasures are no longer secret. Heh. (1) sexual abuse (1) Shadows of the Past (2) She dropped a bomb on me. (1) She is me. Obviously. (1) siblings (1) sickness (24) Sigh (6) Silence is golden. 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If I could I would crawl in a hole and hide until February. (1) This was one of the hardest things I have ever done (1) Thoughtfulness (2) Time will tell (1) Today is my Birthday. (1) Tootin' (1) Trying to heal from things of the past (1) twitter (1) unexpected lessons (1) Unexpected things (1) Used to love using the posties. . . Decided to use them today. (1) We are still walking on the same path together. (1) We need some good around here right now. (1) What do you think? (1) What the fuck is wrong with me? (1) What would you do? (1) What? (1) Who daydreams about being old and gray? THIS CHICK DOES. What? (1) With Him (1) Wordless Wednesday (9) Writer's Workshop (8) WTF? (1) Yes I DO shop at thrift stores. (1) You are dead to me if you don't like bacon. OK. Not really. (1) You might learn more than you want to about me (1)