Randall started getting sick early in the morning. And it got worse as the day progressed.
So his illness is hitting him like it did over the summer. A few days in the hospital and a few days at home.
His Dad took him to the ER at about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. I was glad. Not saying that I didn't want to be there, I did. But I don't think I could have handled it this time around. Watching him be so sick, especially in the ER, takes something out of me. It fucks me up. So I was glad to have a break from it this one time.
Didn't mean that I didn't worry any less though.
Time moved slowly and I was dreading going to pick Kaylee up from school. I really thought she would be OK with me telling her that her Daddy had to go back to the hospital. God, was I wrong.
I am always honest with her. So I told her as soon as we walked out of school.
She started crying. Big huge tears streaming down her face.
It was truly heartbreaking. I wrapped her up in a hug. As we walked home.
Today, I went to visit Randall. He had a rough night.
He looked like hell. Pale with dark, dark circles under his eyes. He looked like a shadow of himself.
He was surprised to see me. I had talked to him on the phone and he had told me not to come. Told me that he didn't want me to see him like he was. That only made me want to see him more.
He slept the majority of the time I was there. Watching him sleep was peaceful. He looked peaceful-- on the outside. On the inside I know there is hurt and pain and turmoil.
During one of his little naps, I eye-spied a small pad of paper and a pen sitting on his table. I grabbed it and started writing him a note.
I love you! Please feel better soon... You have prayers and positive vibes coming from all over the place! Please be strong. Feel the strength in me & use it to help you heal.
Love You Always & Forever,
I didn't stay long, not like I usually do. A little over an hour. I didn't want to leave but he really wasn't up to visitors.
I gathered up my things, gave him kisses and left.
I hate leaving him. I feel like I leave a piece of me there with him every time.
Not sure when he will be released. I will keep you posted.