I need a miracle.
I need more than one miracle. I need a bushel basket filled with miracles!
I need something that will make Randall better. Something that will take away the pain and nausea that plague him on a daily basis. I need something that will keep him out of the hospital, if not permanently, then at least out longer than a week at a time.
I need some way to generate income. Well, more income than what we have. My problem is that I am not going to go get a job just for the other 2 adults in this house (yes, that would be the in-laws I'm talking about) to sit around and do nothing. If I'm gonna get a job one or both of them need to do the same! Randall is not well enough to work. Honestly, I don't think he will ever be able to work again.
My world as I once knew it has slowly started crashing down around me.
I try to stay positive. Key word there is "try". I try to look at the positives that I do have.
I have a healthy, beautiful and smart daughter. She has comforted me more than once since Randall has taken ill. I swear she is wise beyond her years and was born with an old soul. She will be an awesome mother when her time comes.
I have awesome friends and family. Unfortunately they all live far away. But the support I get from the phone and computer work just fine, most days. I have days where I could use their support in person but that just isn't possible.
I have everything I need. Well almost everything I need. There are things that I want but isn't that life? Don't we all have things we want? Things that you strive to get? Things that you don't necessarily need but would love to have? These are things that I have tried to set goals for. Things to work towards... I just at this moment in time, see those goals never coming to fruition.
Remember, I said I try to stay positive... Today hasn't been one of my positive days...
Take me with a grain of salt.
Then maybe slam a shot of Tequila after.
Hope your week has been better than mine.