It seems like school just let out and here we are two weeks away from it starting back up again. With Randall being so sick since May, the summer (or lack there of) has been a total blur. I feel like I have spent more time at the hospital than I have at home. Which I guess if I think about it, I probably have...
I have tried to make things as normal as they can be for Kaylee. She learned to ride her bike this summer. She got to play in the sprinkler on the overly hot days. She read quite a few books this summer (she so takes after me when it comes to books!). I have spent time just hanging out with her (I think that has been my most favorite thing to do). We have planned several times to go to the Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge (our favorite place to go for nature walks!) but have had to cancel it every single time due to illness. I am hoping that we will be able to get out there before school starts back or at least before the weather turns cold.
I have had quite a few dark days this summer where I felt like I was at the end of my rope and about to lose my grip. Stress and worry will do that to ya. I am making my way through it all, slowly but surely. Having your significant other be so sick and pretty much tell you that he was tired of fighting and really wanted to give up can kinda screw you up in the head. I have spent a bunch of time praying. If nothing else I have definitely gotten closer to God this summer.
One of my favorite moments happened just a couple of weeks ago... Randall was sitting on the bed looking at me and out of the blue said, "I am falling in love with you all over again."
Me being sarcastic had to say, "Is that good or bad??"
He replied with, "It's good. It's not that I ever fell out of love with you, it's that I am falling deeper into love with you."
Yes, in case you were wondering, I did cry just a little bit. I guess being sick has given him a new perspective on things... He knows that I have run myself ragged trying to take care of him and knows that I have had moments where I have felt totally unappreciated. It made me feel good to hear him say what he said.
Another plus this summer has been weight loss. MY weight loss to be exact. Would you believe that since May, I have lost 30 pounds?? Randall has noticed this too and has started calling me his "skinny minny" LOL. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I am skinny. I'm not. Not by a long shot. But it made me feel good to know that he noticed the weight loss. I would like to add another 70 pounds to the 30 already lost for a grand total of 100 pounds. Wish me luck!
With all that has happened I am ready to bid summer a not so fond farewell and move on to Fall & Winter. I can only hope and pray that a change in season will bring a much needed change to my life and my family's life!